


Drabbles and Suchlike

by O Lord Damn This Alien (IneffableAlien)



Series: Drabbles of Ineffable Dragons [7]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Lucifer (TV), The Sandman (Comics), Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Drabble Collection, Fairy Tale Parody, Fluff and Humor, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), M/M, Metafiction, Snake Crowley (Good Omens), Wordcount: 100, Writing Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-19
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-12-24 04:50:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21093680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IneffableAlien/pseuds/O%20Lord%20Damn%20This%20Alien
Summary: A week of my sister and me challenging each other with prompts.





	1. Kind Not Nice

**Author's Note:**

> I hate to lose my kudos and people's bookmarks, but this was looking like a mess on my dashboard!
> 
> Fandoms:  
Ch. 1 - Good Omens  
[Ch. 2](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21093680/chapters/50187908) \- Good Omens  
[Ch. 3](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21093680/chapters/50187956) \- Good Omens (fairy tale AU)  
[Ch. 4](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21093680/chapters/50188013) \- Good Omens  
[Ch. 5](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21093680/chapters/50188046) \- Good Omens  
[Ch. 6](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21093680/chapters/50188085) \- Good Omens x Welcome to Night Vale  
[Ch. 7](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21093680/chapters/50188130) \- Lucifer  
[Ch. 8](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21093680/chapters/50203064) \- Good Omens x The Sandman

_(No prompt, 100 words)_

They stood in the smoking rubble, great granite wings looming behind Aziraphale’s back.

“That was very kind of you.”

“Shut _uppp,”_ Crowley croaked, but he couldn’t help but smile.

He could do kind, privately, for his angel.

And he did think of him as “his” angel.

After the thermos, 1941 seemed so far away.

_“I’m a demon, I’m not nice, I’m never nice, ‘nice’ is a four-letter word …”_

“Making” nice. Proper decorum.

Hypocrisy.

Crowley remembered. People died in the ‘40s for “nice,” because nobody wanted to make a scene.

Crowley would rather leave that sort of thing to Heaven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> xx [siliconealien](http://siliconealien.tumblr.com)


	2. (Not So) Accidentally in Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Prompt: Your favorite character falls in love with your least favorite character._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Must be 100 words, no more, no less.

Crowley couldn’t tell you when the feelings started. I mean, they had stood alongside each other at the End of the World; the last thing on his mind then was romance. But these things didn’t happen overnight, either. Right?

Yet the more he thought of him—and he thought of him all the time now, a demon consumed—the more he knew, he wanted to see that face every morning, for as long as time allowed.

Anathema almost felt bad for Crowley. Love spells weren’t exactly considered ethical.

But she had to get this dork out of her house somehow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> xx [siliconealien](http://siliconealien.tumblr.com)


	3. The Black Snake and Suchlike

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Prompt: Fairy tale AU_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based off "The White Snake," the story of a servant boy who gains the power to talk to animals by eating a snake, and eventually marries a princess.
> 
> Must be 100 words, no more, no less.

The black snake reared its head, as the servant took a fork—

“Ow!” cried the snake. “What the Heaven is wrong with you?”

“Uh, s-sorry, it’s just, I read this story—”

“No, you know what?” hissed the snake. “Eat my clutch. Oi! Princess!”

The King’s daughter rushed into the room, all heaving bosom, and suchlike.

“Listen,” said the snake, “this knob-end wants to marry you. Free me, I’ll teach you Parseltongue, and with a skill like that you won’t have to settle for him.”

“Wicked!” said the Princess.

So he slithered off, and the Princess lived happily ever after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> xx [siliconealien](http://siliconealien.tumblr.com)


	4. Orionids

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Prompt: Seasons_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Must be 100 words, no more, no less.
> 
> EDIT: On a personal note, if I had not written this short, I would not have remembered to watch the Orionids, and I wouldn't have accidentally seen Halley's Comet this year--on the World's "birthday" per Good Omens no less lol. I love the stars more than just about anything and it was such an unexpected gift. So I guess, thank you, Crowley? ;)
> 
> _Edited again to add (1/23/20): I was in a mood to reminisce and decided to write [a full explanation of the story above](https://siliconealien.tumblr.com/post/190413912919/so-i-have-a-real-life-story-i-dont-know-if). What happened meant a lot to me, so enjoy ❤️_

The thin lines of red crossing the wool tartan blanket matched perfectly with the russet crunching beneath their bodies (having wriggled almost entirely onto the welcoming ground as they laughed and moved with one another)—not that he could see it. His slitted pupils perceived only the deepening tones of twilight, but he had the strange advantage of seeing the intermingled aroma of saltwater and burning leaves on his tongue. The chalk hills glowed distantly like the surface of the moon.

Silence fell upon the pair as the first meteor razored across the sky.

Crowley loved autumn in the Downs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> xx [siliconealien](http://siliconealien.tumblr.com)


	5. Tumbling Vaguely Downwards

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Prompt: Flower crowns_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Must be 100 words, no more, no less.

Aziraphale saw the dash. “Really?”

“I know,” Crowley mumbled, eyes glued to his laptop, “I liked the old shade better.”

“Not the blue!” he admonished. “You’re _torturing_ yourself again!”

Crowley nearly knocked over his Earl Grey. “Well, they’re ruining my reputation! I’m not a, a … _uwu soft boi._ And look: _‘pine tree is such a bottom’?_ What’s that even mean?!”

“Oh, pining!” chuckled Aziraphale as he headed toward the front of the shop. “How clever!”

Crowley grunted, watching that Aziraphale was gone before opening his other tab.

_Bless, I’m cute,_ he thought. He could surf _“crowley flower crown”_ all day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> xx [siliconealien](http://siliconealien.tumblr.com)


	6. Believe in a Smiling God

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Prompt: Pick two of your top fandoms. Your favorite characters from each meet in a bar. What happens?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Must be 100 words, no more, no less.

Crowley had only chugged one bottle of Talisker, so he was sober when the smell of blood unexpectedly filled his mouth. A man sat down and smiled.

No. That was not a smile.

“What a handsome devil you are!” said the man. “Such beautiful eyes!”

Crowley miracled his lenses darker and gunned his fingers, trying to make his next words true: “You didn’t see my eyes.”

“Oh, but I did! _They’re made of nebulas and stars.”_

For the second time in his life, Crowley felt terror. “Which circle of Hell … ?”

“Hell?!” The man giggled. “No, friend! _I’m from Desert Bluffs.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> xx [siliconealien](http://siliconealien.tumblr.com)


	7. Unexpected As Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Prompt: The coffee-tea-cocoa meme_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Must be 100 words, no more, no less.

Lucifer burst through the coastal grey-green door of the adorable cottage with two Starbucks cups and placed them on the island. “Good morning, Detective! Single malt cappuccino with your brekkie, or single malt latte?”

Chloe rolled her eyes. “Thank you, but I made tea.”

“Oh, you mean pompous water?” Lucifer said, eyes twinkling.

Chloe couldn’t help but smile. “I didn’t peg the King of Hell for a mocha guy. I can smell the chocolate from here.”

“… I didn’t get any mocha.”

Just then, the demon Mazikeen strolled into the kitchen, chugging from a mug.

Lucifer pointed. “Are those … _sprinkles?!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> xx [siliconealien](http://siliconealien.tumblr.com)


	8. Neil Says Hi, by the Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Prompt: Dreaming_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Must be 100 words, no more, no less.

The year was 1862.

**Had you two shadows, I might have mistaken you for my own sibling,** said the bone-white figure. **Your heart bears similar purpose to it, only you are so young.**

“Flattery will get you everywhere,” said Crowley, arching an eyebrow. “Haven’t been called young in, well, ever.”

**Your kind do not seek my realm, yet you return.**

“Yeah, well,” Crowley mumbled, kicking sand. “Had a pretty rotten day. Fancy some company, few decades, maybe … ?”

There was a brutally long pause.

**You belong to me,** said the King, **as all stories do.**

**Stay however long you need.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> xx [siliconealien](http://siliconealien.tumblr.com)


End file.
